Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
