Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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