Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize