yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
