I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Im part way to drunk.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
