No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize