WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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