I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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