i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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