Little spoons don't ask big questions
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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