Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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