Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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