U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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