You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
