Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
