Your mouth is God's brothel.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
