xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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