I can tuck mytits in my pants
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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