I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
A bitchslap is in order.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
