Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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