i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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