Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
