His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
