Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
