So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
