You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
