I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
