if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
barbara walters just said penis...
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
