big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
