i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
