Is it normal to miss your booty call?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
