Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
