anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
