Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize