I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
