Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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