one two three fourrrrnication!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
