yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
