You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
