No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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