it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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