How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
