just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize