she was so not down for the gang bang
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
