the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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