Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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