At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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