Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
be right there i have to get my cape
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
