are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize