I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
