My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
