In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
