Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I am available for nakedness
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
