p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
she smelled like a LAN party
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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