I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
