all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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