How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
