i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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