That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
The ass gains better be worth it
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
